When I decided to become a teacher, I didn't know it came with so much emotion. I've laughed harder with my students than I've laughed with some of my friends. I've cried alone at my desk after school wondering how I can help them more than I am. I've been mad as hell but bit my tongue and explained why what just happened, should never have happened and how to do it better next time. I've had so much control over my emotions when I'm in the school, but then have lost it after my car left the parking lot.
All those emotions didn't prepare me for this newest one. Last week, I received an email telling me that one of the my student's mom passed away. Yesterday, driving to work, I cried...just like I am now...thinking about having to explain to the rest of the class why this particular student wasn't going to be back for a while and for the horrible-ness of the entire situation.
I brought them all over to the table and I told them what had happened and how we should react when he gets back. It took me back to when my student teaching mentor told me I was overly emotional, and I thought, how exactly would she do it in this situation. OBVIOUSLY, she wouldn't have done it my way, because half way through, my extremely practiced speech, I could barely breath and I started to tear up and thought, wow, you all are in middle school, 12 to 14 years old and it is WAY TOO early to lose a parent. My heart just hurt so badly for this student or any person that loses a parent.
It's also odd that I was telling them how we should react or act on the day when the student returns, but as I'm talking about it, I'm thinking, "and how in the hell I am supposed to act, Teach?!" How do you approach a student about what has happened? How do you let him know you're there for them, but not overly scare them away?
... I'll figure it out, but boy oh boy, I hope that he is going to be okay.
awww, Tara.. you being emotional and caring is part of what you makes you an amazing person and teacher! That poor student, I cried just reading your post. I know that your presence, your sense of humor and your guidance will be enough for the student to know how much you care and how you're there for them!
Posted by: Misty | June 18, 2008 at 08:10 AM